You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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