billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
