the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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