eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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