good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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