Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
