I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
