the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
