dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
