it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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