I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
