The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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