Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
