glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
