Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
