where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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