That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
dude. I can hear the air.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize