Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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