Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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