I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize