thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
