shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
