the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
