I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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