Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
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Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How does it feel to date your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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