I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
