i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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