so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
