that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
