You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
