Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
