Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Randomize
