dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
