ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
