The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
