big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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