wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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