i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
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the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
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Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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