idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You dont lie about slip and slides
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
