Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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