i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.