My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party