Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.