guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.