today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
