Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
