i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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