I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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