btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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