the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
