You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize