Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
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She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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