The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
sarcasm needs its own font
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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