Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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