dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
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We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
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So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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