I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
