you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize