No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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