Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
you win again, gameday.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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