I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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