there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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